A Sailor Sweater for Ryan Benjamin

One of the guys my dad ushers with at church, Robert, got married just over a year ago (or maybe longer, I don't really remember (^_^;) ), and not many months thereafter announced the impending arrival of his firstborn: a son to be named Ryan Benjamin (or, as his father put it, "Ryan been jammin'!"). He and his wife are so sweet, I decided to knit little Ryan a sweater, and settled on an adorable little sailor sweater pattern very quickly. Based on past experience, I assumed that while I had way more than enough time to complete it before his arrival, my remaining on task was unlikely at best, so I was relieved to find that the smallest size for the pattern was for 6 months. Sure enough, I've only just finished it today, and Ryan is a couple of months old. (^_^;) Thankfully, the yarn I had at my disposal was wool, so by the time he's big enough to wear it, it will be seasonally appropriate. Isn't it amazing that God is watching out for me in every way?

As always with my knitting, seeing a young girl knitting in public tends to draw a lot of attention from bystanders, and several people asked about it. I finally replaced the batteries in my digicam, and took come very nice photographs before I wrapped it up for surprise delivery tomorrow morning so that all of you could see how it turned out. So, without further ado, I give you... pictures!!!

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

Lately my life has been just amazing, which leaves me wondering when the other shoe will drop, and things will return to my sad excuse for normalcy. Which then prompts the question: where did that phrase even come from? Here's what UrbanDictionary.com has to say:

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

To await an event that is expected to happen, due to being causally linked to another event that has already been observed. Gets its origin from the joke in the example. A guest who checked into an inn one night was warned to be quiet because the guest in the room next to his was a light sleeper. As he undressed for bed, he dropped one shoe, which, sure enough, awakened the other guest. He managed to get the other shoe off in silence, and got into bed. An hour later. he heard a pounding on the wall and a shout: "When are you going to drop the other shoe?" Thus the term "waiting for the other shoe to drop."

I mean, lately my life has just generally been going right for once: I have a few amazing friends whom I get to see quite regularly at church, where I have resumed attending the Sunday and Wednesday night services after a long (and mostly just lazy) hiatus, I have finally been able to start unraveling the cause of my sudden weight gain earlier this year, and it is starting to (slowly) come back off (^o^) due to my new eating plan (not a "diet," mind you) and stepped-up workouts, I have been getting lots of compliments from my peers on my appearance (which I must confess I owe mostly to my mom's hairdressing skills... (^_^;) ), and all manner of other various and sometimes seemingly random blessing from Father, to the point of it being just ridiculous. Some of these aforementioned blessings may seem insignificant and even petty to some, but for someone with my history of rejection and ridicule, they mean so much... (TvT)

I feel like for the first time in my life I really belong, and that I am actually wanted... And that feels just too incredible for words. I am truly blessed, and I owe it all to the Lord! One thing I know: my past heartaches and failures have prepared me for my future, which He has promised me is good (Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, etc.). I just can't wait to see what He has for me, and I'm so glad that He has used these things in my past to make me into who I am today. I'd actually be friends with me now! (^_~)

People actually like this crap?

I think the Lord has been poking me lately to reanimate this near-defunct little Web log, and He has lately had to resort to some very strange measures to get my attention... And He's got it.

Last night I came home from Bible study to find an e-mail in my inbox from a Messianic Jewish pastor on the east coast, commenting on this post from last year.  He said he'd been studying the title Scripture for a sermon he was writing for a student of his in Ghana, and stumbled across my blog on Google. He said it was rare to find so young a person with such strong convictions, and that he'd felt led by the Holy Spirit to let me know that I was on the right track. I can't tell you how much this e-mail blessed me; I felt as though I'd been stuck with a blessing grenade in the heart by the Lord Himself! (Apologies for the "Halo" reference; I'm kind of a nerd that way... (-_-;) )

So, tonight, I get a text message from Facebook saying some person I don't know has sent me a message. I come upstairs about 2300 hours, open up the message, and I get another tac-nuke of a blessing: he'd googled the same Scripture, John 13:35, and says he's sorry for the bad experiences I'd had, he's gone through the same sort of thing, and wanted to let me know that there were people out there who care. If it weren't for my parents sleeping in the next room, I would've burst into laughter at the amazing grace of God to a wretch like me!

I am just astonished at the glory of our King, that with all of the universe to look after, He would sent these two messengers to minister to me in just the way that I needed (though before I knew it not), and at the same time, remind me of how far I've come these last 16 months. Why on Earth would He bother with me? It boggles the mind.

Baruch hashem, our Lord is good!

Facebook actually isn't evil after all

I see now that I am just going to have to force myself to post on a semi-regular basis now, because if I just wait until I feel like it, you get lulls of five months between posts... (-_-;) So here I am, posting a new one. Hurray.

Well, my room finally got redone, and I'd post pictures, but it's kind of messy right now and I forgot to take pictures sooner, because I keep expecting further improvements and delaying my photographic endeavors until I feel it's really "finished". I will soon, I promise! (^_^;)

I've also decided to get certified as a personal trainer and performance nutrition specialist with the International Sports Sciences Association (ISSA), and then work at the gym by my house for a living. The awesome thing about it is that not only would my family's memberships be free, saving us $150 a month, but I would be getting paid to help people get healthy and fit, my job would actually make it easier for me to get my workouts in, it's close to home, it pays well, and I'd finally start pulling my weight (no pun intended) at home, easing the financial strain on my family! On top of that, the hours would be largely self-determined and flexible, and when I get married and have a family, there's a daycare on the premises so my children could come with me to work. The only "lose" in this situation is that I'll have to put to death my laziness, a price I'm willing to pay. (^_^)

I'm enrolling and ordering my course materials tomorrow morning, and since my credit card's APR just got lowered to 1.99%, I can charge the whole thing and pay it off myself, or with help from my wonderfully willing parents, with very little inconvenience. The whole deal, including the two certification courses, a weekend training seminar, and CPR/AED certification, will cost only about $1200! Once I start working, the savings in gym dues alone will pay for it in only a matter of months! I'm so excited, I can hardly wait! (^v^)

In the meantime, I finally ran out of reasonable excuses for avoiding Facebook, and signed up. I had no idea that so many people I know are on there! It's truly amazing how quickly I have acquired 27 friends already! At first, it seemed clunky and unwieldy, but I am quickly getting used to the interface, and I am already loving the advertisement policies. Unlike the often-inappropriate and immoral ads on Myspace, these all have been very tasteful, and give you the option of rating them as well. To top it off, the very first ad I saw, I kid you not, was for Knit Picks! How could I not fall in love with the whole scheme? (*w*)

I have been very remiss in putting off this post for so long, and by God's grace, I shall post much more often in the future. Keep checking back for updates! (^o^)"/"~bye!

The Hunter

Deep, deep, in the scariest corners of my closet dug I this day, till lo! I stumbled upon more poetry of old, which I shall magnanimously share with you now. It had no title, so I dub it now

The Hunter

There's a chill in the air tonight

The stillness runs deep in these woods

Snow muffles the screams

Silently, so silently, the hunter creeps

Closer, closer to the unwitting prey

Never saw it coming

Believe it or not, I wrote this in church waiting for service to start, with the original intention of writing a... are you ready for this? Love poem. *Sigh* Such is my life.

The Wolves

I've been rearranging some stuff in my room due to the recent renovating that started while I was at The Well's Refresh Retreat the weekend before last, and I came across this poem I wrote when I was seventeen, and studying Language Arts Through British Literature, including poetry, for my junior/senior year of high school. Add to this not terribly shocking discovery my recent promise to post a new blog soon, and I give you, without further ado:

The Wolves

They sing! They dance!

With regal stance

They run through woods so still

And prance and play

And still they stay

Rulers of the wooded hills

Over hill and over dale

They follow prey whose scent is stale

Till suddenly, a scout, she howls--

Her voice is taut

The scent is caught!

Their only competition owls

The hunt is silent

The kill is violent

The chase a wondrous thrill

The pups all drool

But know the rule

No food till Father's had his fill

The pack moves on

And though the sun

Is strong, the wind is bitter cold

Their camp they pick

Their coats are thick

All are warm, even the old

The snow is white

The night is bright

Overhead the moon is full

The stars the glitter

A small child shivers

Even from town he hears the call--

A scout has found

A thing profound--

A lame and wounded moose alone

The pack moves out

The cubs they pout

They're left behind with just some bones

And a sentinel

Their stomachs rumble

It's past time for a fresh-caught feast

The hunting slow

Because the snow

Has made grass rare to say the least

The elk and deer

And the moose queer

Faced with a dilemma real

Search on for food

Chased on by doom

To find or to become a meal

Alas! the wolves

Who ruled these woods

(Like royalty on high they reigned!)

Rule them no more

And from them were torn

By Man, over whom he let Fear reign

"And that's all I have to say about that." Aptly put, Forrest (teehee! No pun intended).

Goodbye, teenage years...

Well, yesterday was my twentieth birthday, and a pretty swell one at that. After so many fitful and tumultuous days prior, it was peculiar and very welcome to have a day where even the unexpected inconvenience of a blown tire and subsequently mediocre sushi were not wholly unpleasant. I owe my gratitude to God for that wonderful birthday gift, to be sure.

I'm a little irked with my current loss for words to properly convey that which I had planned to express here, so I think I shall have to continue this post at a later time. Please accept my apologies, and enjoy this little "teaser" post as well as you can, looking forward to a soon appendage to it.